"And where is her mother?? I’d be like, excuse me John Mayer, but you have a penis and you’re too old for her."
— My mother on Taylor Swift

Ladies and gentlemen, this is he on the left. Isn’t he cute?

mygayshoes:

http://writer.bighugelabs.com/

THIS WONDERFUL CREATION AUTOMATICALLY SAVES AFTER A FEW MINUTES, WHEN YOU START A NEW DOCUMENT AND WHEN YOU OPEN A DIFFERENT DOCUMENT.

IT ALSO SOUNDS LIKE A GODDAMN TYPEWRITER (electric or manual- your choice)

If you aren’t excited by the last line, I have no idea why you follow this blog.

(Source: liz-lemons)

thisiscalm:

Okay so since britta and troy is gonna be pretty canon in s4 britta is gonna be spending loads more time round abed/troy/annie’s apartment, but she’s going to be so focused on troy and abed is gonna have to just be there in the sidelines POOR BBY

But what if one day abed lends…

This’ll definitely happen since Britta’s supposed to be living there with them. IT COULD BE ONE OF THEIR THERAPY SESSIONS!!!

(Source: youngstarkwolves)

  • The Devourer: Each book is a snack for this kind of reader--but it doesn't mean that s/he won't enjoy each book just as much.
  • The Lover: Books read by this kind of reader are read in hidden, stolen moments at the most unexpected times.
  • The Slow Dancer: Books are a treat that this kind of reader savors. Slow and steady wins this reader's race, as his/her eyes take in and taste each and every word.
  • The Addict: Books are a conquest to this kind of reader. S/he will buy more books than s/he can read, but s/he will ALWAYS have something to read.
  • The Classic: Books of the past are a gift to this reader. Prose in the style of early contemporary authors, or stories written long ago, are favorites for this reader.
  • The Die-Hard: Genres are a way of life for this reader. S/he finds a niche and sticks to it--veering from what s/he knows for short bursts of time.
  • The Advocate: This reader is a lover of books. S/he is not just a reader, but an advocate of reading--hoping that the future will contain more readers.
  • What kind of reader are you? Add on if you wish!

So whilst at home, I’ve been seeing this guy I met a year ago at a New Year’s party (though we just started dating a few weeks ago) and his name’s Steve and he’s wonderful and adorable and thanks to my meddlesome mother, he’s spending ALL DAY AT MY HOUSE TODAY!!

I’m both excited and not, the not because of said meddlesome mother. Steve and I wanted to hang out today anyway, we just didn’t know what to do. [Un?]luckily, when he came over to pick me up on Tuesday, my mother answered the door and invited him in. She doesn’t know how to feel about him yet, so she’s been throwing out feelers. I was getting ready in my room, blasting my music (singing at the top of my lungs… yes, he heard me…) when mother dearest opens the doors and says:

“Steve’s here!”

“Oh cool, thanks, Mom. Has he been here long?” I ask unsuspectingly.

“Oh, not too long. He got here about 10 minutes ago. I may have forgotten to tell you, but don’t worry, I kept him entertained…” she replied. Then she smiled something evil and left, closing the door softly behind her.

Like any sane person, I immediately checked myself once more in the mirror and RAN OUT THE DOOR AND DOWN THE STAIRS AS QUICKLY AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. But Steve was just sitting there in the kitchen with a giant mug of tea, happy as a clam. I apologized over and over for not being down sooner, but I didn’t hear him come in because of my music [insert Steve’s smirk here], and I didn’t mean to make him wait. HE SAYS:

“Oh don’t worry about it, I was having fun talking to your mom. She made me tea, I was entertained.”

…Now I don’t trust either of them.

“She had to make a phone call, but she says the next time we get together we don’t have to rush out the door- we can just chill here.”

OH CAN WE, MOTHER? IS THAT WHAT WE CAN DO?? So this is what we’re doing. He’s bringing over a few movies and we’re having dinner with the family and I’m kind of wondering WHAT MY WHORE MOTHER IS PLANNING.

[Disclaimer: I would never call my mother something on the internet that I haven’t called her to her face. She responds in a similar fashion and then we hug. They’re terms of endearment, internet. Relax.]

I’m a little nervous. Mom’s new favorite subject is my impending, unplanned move to New York to be a starving artist until I come to my senses and go to law school, getting recruited by the military so they’ll pay for it. She mentions it every chance she can get, especially in front of Steve. But the sweet, beautiful boy just laughs and says he respects her interest in my wellbeing.

Cool. Thanks for the support, Steve. Go ahead and tell her you want to be a poet when you grow up. See how that sits with her.

He is really loquacious though, but in a beautiful way. An eloquent way. I like him a lot, and if I had any doubt that he felt the same, it was banished when he kissed my hand Tuesday and told me that I couldn’t steal his heart, for what lies beating beneath his fragile ribs already belonged to me…

You can roll your eyes and think that’s cheesy, but I swooned, damnit! Swooned.

Maybe I should just relax and it’ll be fine? Right? It’ll be fine… [takes deep breath]

It will be fine.

And if it isn’t, maybe the 17 years of Catholic school will make me a hit at the nunnery!